I don't know if this is a cultural thing or what, but have you notice how we compare trials with each other? Things are said like, "Well, I can't complain, because my situation is not as bad as so-and-so's." Why do we do this to ourselves? This was actually a big and very interesting discovery from our journey with Charlie.
One day in the hospital we were getting our regular visit from the social worker to see how we were doing. It ocurred to me that the she just visited the person in the room next to us that had it much worse than I did, and was about to visit the person on the other side of me that did not have it as bad as me at all.
I asked her, "How do you do your job and keep a straight face withe everyone you visit? The people that have no problems probably complain the most, and you have to act like that's totally understandable. How can you do that when you have seen the worst of the worst in this hospital?"
She said to me, "I have to just tell myself that this is the worst situation that this person has experienced in their life so far. That is all they have to compare their situation to, and that's all I can expect from them."
This conversation taught me so much. I knew people that had it worse than me...by far! Sometimes I felt like that meant that I wasn't allowed to grieve, feel sad, be frustrated, etc. BUT this was a hard situation for me; was I supposed to not be human?
I decided to let myself be as human as I wanted, and that I also needed to let others be as human as they wanted to.
There are people that are going through things that are not as hard as what I went through, but who am I to tell them that they have to suck it up!? Shouldn't I be the one that could empathize the most?
So bottome line, don't compare trials. Take what you can from each trial, and appreciate the differences. Learn what you can from your own trials and from others' experiences, because that is what they are for. Learning.